There's been some backlash too. What I've seen has taken the form of memes. "30 books? You mean in each subject, right?"
But Marie Kondo is not a totalitarian dictator gliding into your house and commanding you to divest yourself of all the things she thinks should go. Instead, my impression of Marie Kondo is of a woman of unshakable patience and generosity of spirit. There is no judgement in her eyes as she opens drawer after drawer crammed full of broken useless things. There is wonder and joy on her face as she leaps, with her whole body, into a two car garage so full of junk that there's only a small pathway to the middle, and no room to move otherwise. There is no hint of disapproval as a grown man admits that he's got over 150 pairs of shoes, most of which he has never even tried on, and still none when he decides to keep 40 to 50 of them by the end of the process.
Kondo is an anmie girl given flesh. Her style, hair cut, and manner are straight out of any one of a number of animes starring school girls with super powers. In this case - her super power is the ability to inspire people to rid themselves of emotional weight. And that is what she does - every one of her clients has more problems facing them than just "too much clutter". A husband and wife who barely talk, a lesbian couple who (though married) still see a delineation between "what's mine and what's hers", a family who depends entirely on their mother to do everything - all the cooking, cleaning etc, a couple who just want to be seen as adults for the first time.
I found the first half of each episode frustrating and anxiety laden. Everyone is on their very best behavior for the cameras, but, it's clear that - in every episode - there's at least one person who is not on board. The struggle is the point of course. By the end of every episode the house is cleaner, there is less stuff, everything is folded into thirds and standing up and there are cute little boxes in most drawers... but the biggest change is the way the people talk to each other.
Each episode has a number of confessional moments. You've seen these on every reality show since the beginning of time - all the way back to "MTV's Real World". And through these confessionals we see their personal struggle, hear their aired grievances with their spouse or children or the method itself, but we also see their break-through moment. Sometimes they come to it independently, but, more often it is a quiet conversation with Marie about some small object they are reluctant to get rid of. She never encourages them to let go of it, but, instead asks why they're keeping it. Sometimes they decide to keep the items - and in that case Marie helps them find a way to honor the item in a way that shows how special it is - but most times it is a moment of epiphany, where they understand and accept that letting go of objects doesn't mean letting go of the memory attached to those objects.
I think my most major objection to the KonMari method is Marie's insistance that it works for everyone equally. She insists that you must see your enormous pile of clothing or papers or shoes to truly understand how much stuff you have. You must parade the elephant out so that (even though you're going to eat it a bite at a time) you can truly understand how much you have to eat.
As someone who has battled Anxiety and Depression for the majority of my adult life I know that would spark a massive panic attack. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that, and, I'm just as sure that my neurodivergent clients wouldn't be able to tackle that as homework without a similar reaction.
That is not to say there aren't merits to seeing all of a category of items, but, I'm also not sure I agree with her categories. They are:
- Clothing
- Sure, okay. That's a full category that deserves your specific attention.
- Books
- Again, sure! Let's really focus on which books we want to keep and which are just taking up space.
- Papers
- Yes. Totally. Let's give all our documents the attneion they diserve.
- Komono
- Mischelanous items. Everything from your kitchen to your garage and all the stuff not covered by any other category... wait, what?
- Sentimental
- Yes. That makes sense... wait, no go back? You want me to sort my kitchen and my garage and all my kids toys all in one category? The hell you say!
The hell you say.
As a former Chef, my kitchen is a sacred place. It deserves it's own category. My garage is not just a storage room, it's a work space, and a play space! It deserves it's own category! Electronics are not miscelenous items. That deserves a category. I totally understand that it's important to simplify the process - but Komono goes too far. So, while I do agree that most other methods are also incomplete in their scope or implementation and she has hit on solutions to several problems that people often run into with tidying... the KonMari method is not for everyone.
The show, all the people on it, and her book all talk about it as though going through this process once is going to change your life forever. She talks, especially in her book, about how this method is a final solution to all your tidying problems; that once completed you'll never have to tidy again.
And this is where the KonMari method fails.
The KonMari Method uses the concept of objects having homes. This is not a new concept for my house. I've been using this exact terminology for most of my adult life; it's a good turn of phrase and I'm glad Marie Kondo is making popular enough that people stop looking at me like I'm crazed when I ask things like "Where do your spatulas live?"
But, no method, not even the KonMari method is able to compete with a toddler. Even if my child's toys all have homes to go to, at the end of the day they're scattered across the house like the detritus of war. And yes, I do encourage him to put things away - to put a toy back before he takes out another - but he's three. So, every night I or my husband spend 20 minutes putting it all back where it goes. Because he's three.
If you're interested in being inspired to declutter and organize your home it's worth a watch. I have taken from the show the things I feel are useful, but, I'm going to discard those parts of the method that don't bring me joy and I invite you to do the same.
I'd give it a really solid 4 Stars out of 5.
